Happiness

This is a post I've been meaning to write for some time. It's been kicking around in my head all that while, and this seems as good as time as any.

I will be confessing some things on this blog you may not have known. I don't want you to take these things and judge me, but merely have a bit more understanding in why I am the way I am.

I've not led an easy life. Some of my younger years were amazing and I was able to experience things out of this world. And other times were in stark contrast, horrible times that I try not to think on too much, if I can help it.



All of that has left me an interesting person, with the ability to look on and appreciate both sides of the spectrum. Of course, it has also affected me in a physical, emotional, and mental way.

Some of you may already know that I have very poor eyesight. I see well enough to do just about everything, but I lack depth perception that has at times made me very nervous and prevents me from driving. I am partially deaf in one ear. I do have a marvelous sense of smell and taste though!

I suffer from a blood disorder that has me perpetually tired and pale. I have a digestive disorder that prevents me from absorbing nutrients properly, keeping my weight hovering at dangerous levels. I have a few problems with my emotional state that will swing me from one extreme to another. At times I will have trouble seeing anything in a positive light.

I live my life in pain. It's a rare day I don't have some kind of pain.

But for all of that . . .

I am happy.

Imagine that. So I have problems. My life has problems. My house is far from perfect, the "normal" troubles of life plague me from day to day, on top of what I deal with, but it doesn't matter. I choose to be happy.

Sure, I could wake up and lay in bed and cry about everything I have to deal with. I could refuse to get up and struggle through another day. I could sell everything that forces me to get out of bed and slog around in the heat and cold, so that literally all I would need to do is lay in bed. I could give up. I could back down in my strong opinions and avoid conflict with other people.

I could do all of these things.

But I refuse. I REFUSE to allow myself to give up and be unhappy because it's EASIER.

NO. I *will* get out of bed, I *will* take the time to care for everything around me, even if it isn't perfect. I will *choose* to be in a good mood and enjoy my day to the best of my abilities.

It is absolutely a choice. I know that many feel that they can't help it if someone else ruins their day, or something bad happens and puts them in a bad mood.

But you CAN help it. No, you can't stop something from breaking or someone from being an asshole. But you CAN help how it affects YOU.

Take a moment. Close your eyes, take a deep breath. Tell yourself, you're not going to allow this to affect you negatively. You're going to handle it, and move on. You're going to CHOOSE to keep your good mood, or CHOOSE to be in a good mood instead.

Try it next time. It isn't easy (what is?) but you can certainly do it, if I can.