Remembering: Ellie

Oh Ellie. You were with us the shortest time of all, but you made the biggest impact in my life. The guilt I feel over you is almost overwhelming at times. I blame myself for not telling John where you were crated with Pixie. Could you have been saved? I'll never know, and I try very hard not to go there, as it's a dangerous path for anyone to travel down.

You were not an expected addition to the family. I was content with five dogs, two of them puppies, getting ready to move. Who in their right mind would add another puppy?

I stumbled across an ad on Craiglist for a blind puppy. I clicked off, browsing as usual, but soon came back to the post, frowning slightly. There was something...something that drew me in. It has never been in my nature to ignore something presented before me, especially when it comes with a strong feeling.

I spoke with several friends and showed them the ad, and then sent an email just to see.

Long story short, the next day I met with your breeder in the parking lot of a grocery store and brought you home. As I suspected, you were the result of a dapple x dapple Dachshund breeding, a very bad thing for anyone to do. You had one partial eye and no eye at all on the other side. In no time at all, I quickly deduced that you were stone deaf.

The vet agreed with me and we discovered you had a slightly deformed jaw with an underbite and spine, some partial use of your deformed eye, and some health concerns to keep an eye out for. I seriously thought about putting you down.

You showed me just how wrong those thoughts were.

Within days, you were running around the house. I had planned on putting a bell on you, but it was never needed - you did not get lost. In fact, you soon discovered the two spots I was most likely to be in, and when you desired to sit in my lap, you would bark at me with your funny little voice.

You quickly grew to become friends with the other dogs, Junebug as your protector and Pixie as your playmate. And you were not just loved by us, but the Internet community loved you as well. I took videos of you for them, and pictures.

Steven was smitten with you, even after not being entirely on board with the idea of a special needs puppy. You wrapped us all around your paw and we adored you. I bonded with you almost immediately, and your loss tears my heart to pieces.

You inspired people all over the world, and every day I will miss your impudent little attitude. I will miss your demanding bark to be picked up. I will miss you snuggled close at night and your joyous gallop after one of the other pups. I will miss your care-free attitude. So what if you ran into something while playing? It was just part of the fun.

There are videos of you on Youtube, and someday when my heart aches less, I will revisit them and be reminded of your determination in the face of adversity.

You were less than four months old.

Goodbye, Ellie.