Hoarding

I thought I'd explore a more . . . interesting topic today.

Recently, I was accused, perhaps not in so many words, of being a hoarder. I was told that I needed "professional help" and I was in "denial." It turned into rather a shitstorm, and I ended up losing a friend over it.

I have of course, moved past this and let go of any anger over the whole mess. I sit assured that I acted the best I could in the situation, and I cannot control another's actions.

The mess started all over Secret, the emaciated Welsh pony I agreed to take in. A bit silly in my mind. It also centered around posts that I made in previous months, when I was having a fairly bad time in my mind, worried about being able to find hay. Worried about the drought. I had developed a real fear of it destroying everything I worked for. I was afraid that I would NOT be able to find hay.

With the help of others and a lot of work, I solved each of these problems and I came out the other side of it stronger. Things balanced back out and I returned to my usual "rainbows and kittens" posts, because everything WAS okay again. I was never in any danger of being able to FEED my animals, as long as I could FIND the feed to buy.

However, a "friend" used these past posts against me, completely bypassing and ignoring all the posts in between then and now about how things had worked out. They insulted me, hurt my feelings, and pretty much made it clear what kind of a person they really are, when they ignored MY apologies for any perceived wrong doing and refused to apologize for their wrong doing.

So I sat and thought about hoarding for a while. I came to the conclusion that, if I am a hoarding, I think I'm pretty much a failure at it!

"Hoarding is the excessive collection of items, along with the inability to discard them. Hoarding often creates such cramped living conditions that homes may be filled to capacity, with only narrow pathways winding through stacks of clutter. Some people also collect animals, keeping dozens or hundreds of pets often in unsanitary conditions." - MayoClinic.com

Hoarding is not something I'm unfamiliar with. It actually runs in my family and I have often recognized the symptoms of it in myself. I have a family member who is what I call a "Hoarder Tri-fecta." She hoards items, animals, and people. And it has pretty much caused a ruin of everything she owns. Another family member hoards items.

So, am I a hoarder? According to that definition, I have to say a resounding, No!

My house is anything but cramped. I have a serious adversion to clutter. My house may be occasionally messy, with hay on the floor and a bit dusty, but it's not cramped or overfilled with stuff. There ARE certain areas that reflect it however. I have one closet neatly crammed full of things that "might" be useful, or I want to keep. I have a large shelf system FULL of model horses across from my bed that I like to look at.

But do I hoard animals? I don't think so. My pets and livestock are not in "cramped conditions." Heck I don't even cage my two chickens. The ONLY caged creatures are two ferrets, who get several hours out of their cage each day, and in fact, plans are in the works for a permanent large pen they can play in most of the day. The goats and ponies have three acres to roam. All have adequate shelter. Clean water that is refreshed every day. There is nothing unsanitary about their lives. Sure, there's poop in the pasture...but that tends to happen with livestock!

And trust me, they aren't starving. I'm having to cut back the grain on my goats before they're getting too fat. They might as well be pigs.

In my experience, a hoarder also will not provide adequate medical care. Some of you may know that our little farm operates on a very tight budget. It's this budgeting that allows me to do all the things I can. We have no debt (except our mortgage). But I will admit, we have no savings. Except for one. Our Veterinary fund. Every time I get a chance, and every week, I slip a tiny bit of money into it. I have done this for years, for as long as I have had ANY type of animal, any amount of animals.

While I do quite a lot of medical care on my own to save costs, Apple and Spyder managed to decimate the vet fund nicely. I spent a good amount with Juliet early this year, when she had a stillborn kid and a retained placenta. Currently we are spending a goodly amount of money on our older Boxer's medication, as she has Cancer.

But I am glad to say that through Jetta's sale, a helpful friend, and my artwork, the vet fund has recovered and is growing again.

I do have a lot of animals. I'll admit it. I spend all day at home, and my animals are among the few things that will drag me out of bed in the morning. They are my lifeline. And I refuse to allow anyone to make me feel guilty over it.

Yes, my goats serve a purpose and are production animals, but they are ALSO pets. They receive the best I can offer them. It may not be the BEST available in the world. But it's a hell of a lot more than many production or backyard goats get.

My horses may not have a fancy barn and the most expensive feed and supplements, but I think if they could understand and convey their thoughts, they'd be damned grateful, especially in this current economical situation, to have what they do. Especially Secret . . . who was facing a much less pleasant end.

So here I have gone off and rambled a long, probably incoherent post. The fact of the matter is, I know what I can and cannot handle, and I refuse to allow any person to make judgements upon me and try to make me feel badly. I am stronger than that.

This is my life, and I am content.