Selfishness

Have you ever been called selfish?

I know I have, many times. I think we all have. We would be hard pressed to find someone who hadn't been called selfish in one way or another.

But the crux of the problem comes when we ask, is it wrong to be selfish?

I don't think so.

There are times selfishness is okay.

We as a culture have been conditioned to see selfishness as bad. We are pressured to do "right" by everyone else, even at the expense of ourselves. We are told to help others at all costs.

Ridiculous.

I spend a great deal of my time helping others. I do it because I want to. I do it because it's rewarding.

Many would say they do it for the same reasons, but I wonder how many would sit down and rethink that and realize they are doing it because that is what is expected of them. I wonder how many would uncover deep seated feelings of resentment.

Even I must step back and say, "No more" at times. If you give all of yourself to others, what is there left for yourself? You begin to burn out, turning bitter and frustrated with those around you. They begin to take you for granted and expect you to be available at all times.

Step back. Put up a boundary. Learn to say no.

It's okay to be selfish. In the end, the most important person in your life is you. You can try to claim otherwise, (my family is more important!) but if you do not take care of yourself, then how can you help others?

As with all things, there is a balance, one that is different for all of us. It is your responsibility to find that balance and not only find it, but enact it and stick with it. In the long run, everyone around you will benefit from it.

And most importantly, so will you.